Dear You

I loved you but I said to myself I wouldn't do anything about it. When I heard about you and another girl though, I thought it's now or never. So I simply walked away telling myself that you will be just a passing cloud. But since then , you were the only one on my mind.

You make me laugh so much and you awaken every butterfly in me. You whisper sweet words in my ear and I want to hug you all the time. I don't think about what's happening or will happen, I'm just enjoying every moment with you.

But in every relationship we have - with girls, boys, friends - sooner or later we get a break. And suddenly it all feels so fragile.

What will happen now?
How much does he like me?
Will this end what's between us?
Wow, there are so many things I still don't know about him.
Will he hurt me?
Will he say things that makes me cry?
If I stay now, will he take me in his arms if I get sad?
If I go now, will he call me tomorrow?
Gosh, WHY do I have to be so emotional?
Does he think I'm too sensitive?

Is he as scared of all those feelings as I am?
I wish I was a mind reader.

I really want you. I really like you. But I don't tell you that tonight. Instead I'm doing what I know is wrong - I'm walking away.. Because even if we're having an incredible time, I don't really know you and your thoughts and if you think "us" is happening too fast or too slow, I don't want to hear it tonight. Maybe I'd want something more promising from you ? (If you even consider me)

Each day I feel like I'm loving you more than the previous day and this is really freaking me out.

And to all of you whose hearts are aching by loving someone and not doing anything about it - what are you still doing here? Go tell them, go take a shot, go fall in love!
Sometimes you have to give life a push and hope that it's the right time and place and that both are ready for what may come. The worst thing that can happen isn't even that bad - if he/she doesn't feel the same at least you will feel awesome about telling them how special they are.
But if everything goes well, it can be amazing.

Remember though - your heart will ache anyway, because you're so scared to screw it all up and the feeling you get by the thought of losing something great is almost as awful as not having it at all. 

I'm going to think upon this. Are you ? :)

Love. ♥